“Baby Mama” that term means so many things to different people but for we africans and Nigerians when someone is called a baby mama, we know she has dropped at least one or two for a man.
I know this is the jet era, there is blackberry, I phone, Tabs and all. Our internet connection maybe faster and all but one thing will never change and that is our skin which is black. No matter how many tubes of whitenizer you apply, you are still an african. If you like fix five packs of peruvian human hair you will still remain an african, and along with that african skin comes our mentality, our norms and values, our virtues and the way things are supposed to be.
I always come back to my wordpress for blackberry when I feel that something heavy has happened and I need to address the situation. What we have now is a far cry from who we are. Back in the days; when our mothers were still girls, Virginity was the trend. When a man meets his wife for the first time and he breaks her maiden head, he takes a cock to her parents the next day and thank them for raising their child very well. Indians still dress their conjugal bed with white sheets so as to check the girls innocence. There are certain things that are frowned upon in africa, like a woman marrying a man she is elder to(you are not a cougar) or having children for a man she is not married to.
Back in the days when a man knocked you up; he doesn’t need a sooth sayer to tell him to do what is right but these days the reverse is the case. Baby mama trend is in vogue now, nigerian girls are content to have children for men that are not married to them. Some say they are content being with the guy because marriage will change everything. Are you a Fool? What will change apart from your surname, why won’t you treat yourself right? Every woman deserves to have her feet rubbed by that man who got her pregnant. Why are you cheating yourself from the fulfillment of being a married woman cos no matter what your warped mind is telling you, you deserve better and girls go around saying that guys are not treating them right. How can they treat you right when you are content being pregnant without the trimmings.
Annie Macualay was lucky, maybe her ODM(our daily manna)prayers bore fruits for her but she is just 1 out of the others. Lola is pregnant again for Peter okoye without a wedding ring. What is the driving spirit? Is it because he is a star? Are we now a generation of star sluts? Are we selling our goodies to all and sundry because they have a few bills to spare? I am sure she wouldn’t take It from another man, she would demand that he makes an honest woman out of her. I see a lot of pregnant girls without husbands and they convince us that they will get married and I still see them with pregnancy number two and no husband yet. Do what is right, ask for your dues. You were not created for the sole purpose of SEX. God had other plans for you and it comes in stages when people ask; whose child is this? It moves to; who is she married to and it moves to; how many children does she have. Don’t jump the gun, crawl, walk then run. So is baby mamarism a trend or a lifestyle?
LOCKED DOWN TIGHT YO!!
*Listening to the last chorus of Banky W’s ‘Lagos Party’ as it begins to fade out*
Lasgidi. Eko. Gidis. The big apple. All these names are synonymous with this city in the west. A city where people don’t sleep: a city that houses most of the celebrities in Nigeria, a city where people think their dreams can come true.
When I was growing up, I even heard that the city doesn’t have a ‘welcome’ signpost. The only one that exists doesn’t read WELCOME TO LAGOS; rather it reads THIS IS LAGOS. If you ask me, they should have added ‘you are truly on your own’. Irrespective of the harsh conditions of life for some people it doesn’t deter graduates and those seeking better life and greener pastures from re-locating to this city. There’s a myth surrounding it that all your dreams come true in Lagos. You can also compare it with New York; listen to Empire State of Mind by Alicia Keys and Jigga Banks (Jay Z) if you need more insight on New York.
I was a Lagos virgin up until March this year *eyes rolling* (sue me); and I must say that it was a very exciting experience. I got a confirmation letter to attend the auditions for big brother Africa Star Game along with many other Nigerians and I almost went berserk. I read the email and my eyes went to the venue and it read Protea Hotel, Maryland Lagos.
It hit me for the first time that I had to make a trip to Lagos, a city that I’ve never visited. It’s said that first timers are picked out because they stick out like a sore thumb. So, while I got ready for my trip, I was still filled with apprehension; I was nervous and anxious to see this city of dreams. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling that way, but after thinking, I came to a conclusion – I AM GOING TO LAGOS. I called my sisters and I told them about it, they were very supportive and they sent me their address located somewhere around Festac Town. I consulted with friends and they were psyched. A day before my departure I was summoned by them for induction and advice on behavioral pattern, so I won’t ‘fall mugu’ as a JJC.
My friend Didi told me that my first stop will be Ojota, and that I should hold on to my bag and not talk to strangers. I should stand and wait for a bus with the conductor shouting at the top of his voice Cele/Mile 2! Cele /Mile 2!! And her instruction manual came with detailed visuals because she showed me how they will call and all, and also she told me that I should not pay more than a hundred a fifty naira (150), and if he insists that I should pay more than that, I should decline: and to show my seriousness make ‘I rake am well well’, ‘make I ginger like say I wan slap am; den him go sorji say I no be jjc’. It didn’t end there, Doris my other friend told me that when I hear them saying Mile 2, Mile 2 that I should say ‘OWA!’, that if I don’t say it, I definitely will find myself at the last bus-stop. When I alight, I should board another bus with the bus conductor screaming Agboju/Alakija and that I should board and tell the conductor I’ll dropping off at Maza-Maza. Then I should pick a bike and tell the bike man where I was going to. I thanked them and said to myself that I’ll be there within the blink of an eye.
The next day as early as 3am, I got up, took my bath and headed for Ifesinachi Transport where I boarded the third bus going to Lagos, it was not an easy journey. Halfway into the journey, I was already tired, my bum hurt from sitting, I was getting restless, infact, my whole body was hurting. I cursed in my mind and I felt like crying. I fell asleep out of exhaustion; I woke up some hours later and asked where we were, and was told we were on Lagos/Ibadan expressway. I asked how long until Lagos? My fellow passenger said very soon. Time passed by until… Lagos finally.
There at Ojota, I waited just like my friends had told me and I stood there for some minutes. Lagos conductors are very funny, they have this mastered gait and the way they talk is very funny too. They talk through their nose which makes it hard for JJC’s like me to pick out the right direction. Buses came by and left, I couldn’t make out what the conductors were saying. Their words so slurred and rushed and they, as usual, enjoy shouting so much.
It seems like a fellow commuter who was standing nearby took pity on me and asked where I was going. I told him and he laughed and he said that all the buses that have passed were all heading my way. So, into the next bus I hauled my tired self. The conductor asked and I told him Mile 2, and he said 200 naira. I was shocked and remembered my friend’s advice; I wanted to scream but didn’t want to embarrass myself. So I just took out a crispy 200 naira note out of my wallet and handed it to him, and sat still. When we had driven for a long while I asked if we’d gotten to Mile 2 yet. He said no, but would tell you when we do. I was so relieved.
Finally, we got to Mile 2 and I was astonished by the number of cars on the road. I felt like it was another country. Into another bus I jumped and finally found myself at Maza-Maza. Then the long bike ride which took me straight to my sisters’ doorstep. I got in, took a cold bath and slept till the next morning. *smiling*. Yes it was that bad.
This is like a manual to every Lagos virgin which I once was, keep the faith and hold your head up while you walk.
And that is how Mandy sees it.*winks*