Bloke Magazine.

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BLOKE WORDS OF WISDOM, OMENA SPEAKS.

Published December 16, 2012 by mandi2ude

OMENA DANIELS can be called many names, metropolitan dude, outspoken, classy et al. But one name that sticks to him is BLOKE. He took to his bbm updates some days ago and he wrote 5 bloke words of wisdom and I went gaga cos he made a lot of sense and they apply to our everyday life decisions I decided to share it with you guys. He wrote em in a bloke..ish way but I will translate it in my typical Amanda way. FYI, OMENA is the editor of Bloke Magazine. It’s his brainchild.
Listen up ladies cos this is where it get complicated. J’adore.(Pardon my french).

5 Bloke Words Of Wisdom.

1. NEVER ASSUME, UNTIL A BLOKE ASKS DIRECTLY,ADDRESSES YOU AS HIS WOMAN,OR INTRODUCES YOU TO HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY AS HIS GIRLFRIEND,YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND.

Gbam!!! I support this one, assumption is the mother of all failures. How many times have a relationship ended sourly and when you meet one party especially the girl and ask her, she tells you that she assumed that they were dating. Girls, never assume, if you guys are sexting and talking about hooking up or going on dates ask him the question. Don’t get involved with a guy who hasn’t asked you in clear words that he wants you to be his girlfriend. It’s better he calls you old fashioned than you enter into a relationship which you are not sure of. You may be a sleeping buddy for all you know and you are claiming GF. Always watch for the way he introduces you to family and friends. If he introduces you as sweetheart, honey or whatever doesn’t cut it. If he is taking you out for the first time, wait for him to introduce you as his girlfriend. If he doesn’t , loose his number.

2. BLOKES ARE NOT AS CRAFTY AS YOUR GIRLFRIENDS WILL HAVE YOU BELIEVE. SEX IS LIKE CROSSING A FRONTIER, HE EITHER BONDS WITH YOU OR LOOSES HIS ATTRACTION ALTOGETHER.

Yep, I love this part. The S-E-X. It has been a topic of controversy for as long as I can remember. How many times have you heard, lemme have sex with him else he might look someplace else. When you are dating a guy, don’t be so eager to have sex with him. I think it equals waiting for sharwarma to be ready and after 30 mins they wrap it up for you and then you are even tired of eating it you just take it home. SEX is a big deal for most guys and in some cases when they have sex with a girl they have been after for a while they loose the attraction they have for her but in some cases, you bond with the guy, you guys become siamese twins and it works well for you two. The key word here is “Ready” are you ready to have sex? Mentally?physically?emotionally? These are questions you should ask yourself before you guys burn the sheets. So when you have sex with a guy and he pings less, calls less and txts less, sweetie, he is just not that into you.

3. FORGET ALL THEM BLOKES PROFESSING LOVE TO YOU WHILST ASKING YOU OUT, IT’S INFATUATION. A BLOKE ONLY GIVES OUT HIS HEART WHEN HE IS TRULY SURE THAT HE HAS YOURS.

Perfect case scenario, you add a new guy on bbm and before you chat twice he is claiming undying love for you. He probably saw your pics and he wants to get into the honey pot. The heart never lies, you can lie to a thousand friends but you can’t lie to your heart. When you are in sync with a person, your heart will let you know. Guys can never give out their hearts to a girl unless they are in perfect sync. If a guy claims that he loves you without seeing you, sweetie he is infatuated, when he sees you, stays with you for a while and can confidently repeat his love statement then you will know that he truly loves you, but apart from that, you just snagged another warm body.

4. WHILE TALKING ABOUT A PROBLEM MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, A BLOKE WILL ONLY TALK ABOUT AN ISSUE AFTER INTERNALIZING. YOUR ABILITY TO STAY SILENT BESIDe HIM MAKES YOU A BETTER PARTNER.

Space-Nag-space. It’s different for girls and boys. When we are in trouble, we try to talk it out with our boo, he asks you the problem and even if you don’t wanna talk about it, he coaxes you till you spill. It’s not the same for guys. When they have problems, they carefully vet and vet and still vet then the choose the smaller problems to tell you. They don’t wanna get you worried for reasons best known to them. They process these problems. Maybe they think we are fragile. News flash blokes. When you ask your boo what’s up with him and he tells you it’s nothing he can’t handle just give him the speech of sharing his problems with you, if he refuses ask two more times then let him be. It’s polite. Don’t over nag a guy and make him shout on you. He will open up later. Yeah I know. Am cool like that. It works like a trick. He will appreciate your concern but please let him be a man about it.

5. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, A BLOKE WILL STILL LOVE YOU AND CHEAT ON YOU, BECAUSE LOVE AND SEX ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS TO A MAN. FOR A GOOD BLOKE THE DECISION TO BE FAITHFUL IS MADE INSPITE OF WHO HE IS WITH

I don’t like this one so much, but these are Omena’s words not mine so am going along with him just for today. Love and sex. They go hand in hand. Sex is physical, love is emotional. You can’t keep em two apart. Most guys cheat on their babes with other warm bodies and they still claim love for their girlfriends. Cheating is a choice not an option. You can choose not to be promiscuous. Even though omena thinks so, my opinion is if a guy cheats on you with a whora and still claims love for you, babe, match on. You can never go far with a two timing douche bag. He can stay with his new warm body. If you really love your gf please stay with her, no gain in running about. The only result is HIV and staph.

And that’s how Mandy sees it. In my own warped way.