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All posts for the month November, 2012

VEX MONEY

Published November 11, 2012 by mandi2ude

So I heard/read the story of the Unilag chic that jumped down a 3 storey building to avoid getting raped. I applaud her bravery like I did Maria Goretti. But here is the catch; why do we girls find ourselves in all these difficult situations? It’s appalling and I don’t even know how to explain it.
According to the story, she was sexting with the dude, he was giving her monetary gifts and she accepted them all, he invited her to a club in Apapa and from there they ended up at his place in 1004 VI. He made his intentions known, dude is probably messed up after some bottles of JD, and he wants the honey pot, the chic decides to be stingy and they get into an argument and she jumps down, broke her pelvis bone and sustained other injuries. Big Question is; What if she had died after she hit the ground?
You are probably wondering where am heading to, chill; don’t get your panties in a twist. What am about to say is VEX MONEY!!!! Vex Money according to Amanda’s Advanced Learners Book is that amount of money that is safely tucked in your wallet, this money can be used to buy yourself out of a boring date, a randy guy and transportation to wherever you are headed. Vex Money covers everything. Your ATM card is good too but raw cash is better.

BENEFITS OF VEX MONEY

: Have you ever visited a guy and in the night he wants you to pay your rent or tithe as the case may be and you refuse, he kicks you out of his house; Vex Money will get you hotel room till you figure out your next plan
: Have you ever gone out with a complete douchebag and he knows you wanna go home but because he has other plans for how he wants the night to play out he doesn’t wanna drop you. Babe, search for your vex money and bike home.
:Have you ever found yourself stranded and you are contemplating calling a friend who will give with one arm and collect with another, vex money will help you out.

:Have you ever visited a potential boyfriend and because you refused to drop, he doesn’t wanna give you your Tfare, Vex money will sort you out.

But we as girls should not abuse the power of vex money, play God and tempt fate. If you don’t like a guy then for chrissakes, do not sext him, don’t sex chat with him. We are all adults, what do you think will happen the day he finally sees you, after you have finished claiming that you will give him the best he ever had. You want him to read the bible with you and sing you a lullaby later. Come on babes, we are all humans, there is a limit to what we can take and endure. Do not cheat / play God. It’s good to be coquettish but to an extent. DO NOT TEASE A MAN TO THE EXTENT THAT HE WILL CONTEMPLATE RAPING YOU. If we all begin to jump down from 3 storey buildings then we won’t have girls no more. That’s how MANDY sees it, you read it first here.

READ TILL YOU GO YO!!!!!

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BOOBS&PRETTY FACE

Published November 11, 2012 by mandi2ude

Most people say am a feminist, they are not too far from the truth, the truth is I reek of feminism, I eat it, I drink it, I sleep it. Yes, I am a feminist to the core. I don’t like the chauvinistic attitude of most men, it’s warped and it reeks of ignorance. Do you think it’s easy being a woman,? You think? I know you think so but before you throw the stone at me kindly walk a mile in my shoes, if you survive the day then I will trade places with you.

Do you think it’s easy having boobs?
can you wear a bra for 8-12 hours daily? It’s tightness alone will cut off your air supply.

Do you think it’s easy to have guys wolf whistle at you when you pass by probably cos your boobs are standing out, them making comments like your boyfriend is really enjoying ooo, I wouldn’t mind spending the night with you and other derogatory comments. I think you would die out of shame.

Oh, you think you can handle it? Here is where it gets complex. Can you stand menstrual pains? That mind numbing pain that makes you feel like your intestines are being slashed into two, can you stand the blood flow for 3-5days, a subconscious and mental note not to wear white cos you might just embarrass. Yourself in public, sanitary pants and pads and always going to rest room to change your business.

Can you stand going for a job interview and you know you are over qualified for the job but a randy old man who is old enough to be your father wants a piece of the action, he throws you his motel key and tells you to meet him there by 6pm or else forget the job
.
Can you stand your male colleagues making fun of you that you only got the job cos you are a pretty face and the team has to be balanced. Now you are certainly going cray cray.

Can you stand your boss always peeking into your blouse when he is standing above you, pretending to show you something on your PC cos he wants you to type something for him, he is just feeding his eyes on your boobs, now that makes me skin crawl.

Can you stand illiterate drivers and conductors who can’t observe traffic rules shout at you cos they wanna jump line and head straight to their death, when they come in line to your car, they say ;”I know say na woman dey drive”. Funny.

Can you stand men thinking that your sugar daddy bought you a camry that you saved up money for, they see you looking fly and they say, she is high maintenance, I bet her maga bought the car for her and she is feeling good about herself. Niccur,I pay my own bills and you still can’t do squat for yoself.

Can you carry a belly that won’t let you see your toes for nine months, the whole appetite and craving, the stretch marks, the crankiness that comes with pregnancy. Can you withstand labour pains, that excruciating pain that racks your body, can you push out a human being out of that tiny whole, bet you can’t cos that’s one of the miracles of life.

If you can’t do any of the above, why insult a woman, what gives you the right to judge. Who died and made you God. You can’t value a woman cos you think she is the weaker sex, before you run off your mouth next time, think of where you came out from and carefully evaluate what you are about to say. VALUE A WOMAN TODAY. TREAT HER RIGHT.

READ TILL YOU GO YO!!!!!