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All posts for the month September, 2012

VULNERABility

Published September 19, 2012 by mandi2ude

A dear friend of mine inspired this write up, I hope he has the chance to read it cos I will know if he doesn’t.
My cheerful disposition is one of the first things that attract people to me, my sisters call me miss sunshine cos I have that sunny side which does not ever go bleak. I let everyone into my life and I don’t give up on friends easily, I make a lot of them as I go on and I make sure I leave a footprint in everyone’s lives. My greatest fear on earth apart from snakes, terrorists, sharks and hell fire is “LOVE”, ironic huh? Especially when I call everyone on my contact list love, sweety, sugar, boo.
Everybody on earth has something that scares them and I think “LOVE” ranks as the fifth scare in mine, love is a beautiful thing according to d’banj but it can also hurt you the most when you least expect it. I would rather go through the motions of life without feeling it, it rips you of your ability to think, reason and judge, It makes you biased sometimes and the worst is it makes you ‘VULNERABLE’ when you love, you trust, when you trust you give, when you give you give someone else the power to hurt you and when that someone hurts you, you decide how it’s going to affect you and when you decide how it’s going to affect you, it molds the kind of decisions you make.
We can’t go through life without loving, it’s in our build, you can’t say when you fall in love, no matter how much you run away from it, it always catches up with you one way or another. If God gave us the ability to see what will happen to our loved ones then maybe most of us won’t love anyone. If he had showed me, maybe I wouldn’t have loved my father. That way his death won’t hurt me the way it did, maybe I wouldn’t have loved that boy that hurt me, maybe I wouldn’t have loved that friend that betrayed me and now dines with my enemies. But we did love anyway and that’s the most precious gift in life, it’s more expensive and valuable than money, you can’t buy it cos once it’s not there, it’s not there.
My experiences still won’t hold me back from loving and giving to people what they want from me. I am not too scared to try again, I may be hurt, the scars may still be healing but I know what I want from life and the worst life to live is one that is devoid of “LOVE”. Try again, don’t let your past determine how you live your life else you might miss out on your future and regret will be a shame. If I have an opportunity again I would love harder than I did. Am not too scared to try, you shouldn’t be either. MUCH LOVE

LOCKED DOWN TIGHT YO!!

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“BABY MAMAS” TREND OR LIFESTYLE

Published September 5, 2012 by mandi2ude

“Baby Mama” that term means so many things to different people but for we africans and Nigerians when someone is called a baby mama, we know she has dropped at least one or two for a man.

I know this is the jet era, there is blackberry, I phone, Tabs and all. Our internet connection maybe faster and all but one thing will never change and that is our skin which is black. No matter how many tubes of whitenizer you apply, you are still an african. If you like fix five packs of peruvian human hair you will still remain an african, and along with that african skin comes our mentality, our norms and values, our virtues and the way things are supposed to be.

I always come back to my wordpress for blackberry when I feel that something heavy has happened and I need to address the situation. What we have now is a far cry from who we are. Back in the days; when our mothers were still girls, Virginity was the trend. When a man meets his wife for the first time and he breaks her maiden head, he takes a cock to her parents the next day and thank them for raising their child very well. Indians still dress their conjugal bed with white sheets so as to check the girls innocence. There are certain things that are frowned upon in africa, like a woman marrying a man she is elder to(you are not a cougar) or having children for a man she is not married to.

Back in the days when a man knocked you up; he doesn’t need a sooth sayer to tell him to do what is right but these days the reverse is the case. Baby mama trend is in vogue now, nigerian girls are content to have children for men that are not married to them. Some say they are content being with the guy because marriage will change everything. Are you a Fool? What will change apart from your surname, why won’t you treat yourself right? Every woman deserves to have her feet rubbed by that man who got her pregnant. Why are you cheating yourself from the fulfillment of being a married woman cos no matter what your warped mind is telling you, you deserve better and girls go around saying that guys are not treating them right. How can they treat you right when you are content being pregnant without the trimmings.

Annie Macualay was lucky, maybe her ODM(our daily manna)prayers bore fruits for her but she is just 1 out of the others. Lola is pregnant again for Peter okoye without a wedding ring. What is the driving spirit? Is it because he is a star? Are we now a generation of star sluts? Are we selling our goodies to all and sundry because they have a few bills to spare? I am sure she wouldn’t take It from another man, she would demand that he makes an honest woman out of her. I see a lot of pregnant girls without husbands and they convince us that they will get married and I still see them with pregnancy number two and no husband yet. Do what is right, ask for your dues. You were not created for the sole purpose of SEX. God had other plans for you and it comes in stages when people ask; whose child is this? It moves to; who is she married to and it moves to; how many children does she have. Don’t jump the gun, crawl, walk then run. So is baby mamarism a trend or a lifestyle?

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DIFFERENT SHADES OF MY FATHER

Published September 4, 2012 by mandi2ude

Omega, Ozo, Mbamalu, Cosmos, Anaroc, Chief My Father; where do I start from? Is it from the smile that lights up his face when you show him a good result, how his eyes mirrors contentment when he is eating a very delicious native food, his patience when he is trying to correct you over something you did not do well, his smile when he is listening to oliver D’coque, Osadebe or watching pami Udu bonch video, his gait when he is explaining the Nigerian civil war, his seriousness when he is telling you how he missed an opportunity to be in the Nigerian army. There are different shades to my father.
He is a complex human being and one you can please quickly. He detest lies, he would rather you tell him the truth, he is a generous person, he gives without reserve. I remember drinking custard as a child, eating sausages and spaghetti. I guess that’s how I fell in love with spaghetti. He gave me the best of everything, I attended one of the best primary and secondary school. I don’t have any recollection of my father hitting me, he would scold you and it ends there. Whenever my mother tried to frighten you into doing something, my father would talk with you one on one and find out the reason behind your stubbornness.

I was asked to write a tribute for him, I can’t write a tribute for him. I can write a book on the man cosmos Anadobi. His virtues can feel a book and earn me a pulitzer. My father is a neat man, he is so neat that he can wear white for an insane length of time. As a child people called him Jim Nwobodo because he loved baffing up in white, as he got older , he would come to me to button his shirt or help him cuff link his shirt and I will tease him about how old he is. Sometimes he would ask me to dye his hair and I would tell him to leave it to become like Wole Soyinka’s hair. I would go into his room sometimes and search for what I want and take, ranging from ball point pens, diaries, singlets to even his boxers. He knows immediately that I took them whenever he looks for them.

My father stood for the truth no matter who it hurts and most of the time he was called on to mediate quarrels or disputes because people knew they could count on him to say it like he sees it. He can sometimes be a pest, in a good way tho. Whenever you wanna rest that’s when he calls on you to something. He had human consideration, he won’t leave his soup plate empty; there was always one meat for the lucky person who carried the plates out and that made his plate to be in high demand. He had these habit of not eating outside, he would leave the food there and come back home to eat our food. When you ask him ” daddy o’na erihozi nri ebe ahu, he will tell you “ihe ha n’a esi o nri? Ha kpolu kwe maggi white wuha na nri ha kpo ya nri”. The truth is my father is his own person and no one can ever replace him.

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Marriage Chronicles… Tola

Published September 3, 2012 by mandi2ude

Tola felt like dying, she was suffocating, her palms were sweating and a monster headache was raging inside her. Tears were bottled up inside her and she couldn’t keep her eyes open because the pain was too much. She kept trying to suppress her tears and she could feel her heart feeling the impact. Her car AC was blasting cold air on her but she was still hot. She took the next turn which led her directly to her home located at No 13b Giraffe street East Ekulu Estate G.R.A Enugu, her well manicured lawns were staring back at her, her kerbs were so neat you could actually eat anything placed there, it had to be neat because they paid the gardener a fortune for him to keep the house clean, appearances matter a lot especially for her husband Azunna.

She beeped and their gate man opened the gate, she stopped dead in her tracks and couldn’t drive in, her nightmare was staring at her right in the face. Her heart started pounding like if it was going to leap out of her mouth,Mama Azunna was staring at her with contempt, effiong her gate man tapped on her window and she came to and drove into the house. The house she shared with Azunna is a 6 bedroom duplex with an underground packing space. Azunna her husband is the regional manager of GTbank and they met in the university and stayed together through out then. She came down of her car immediately and in a customary yoruba manner she knelt down and greeted her. Mama Nno, kedu ka ndi uno mere? Her ibo was perfect, you would not know she is yoruba unless she told you, she even took an ibo name when she got married to azunna. Mama Azunna just looked at her and sighed and asked her why is my son’s house closed? Tola replied her, mama am sorry I had to run some errands and I didn’t know you were dropping by if not I would have left the house keys with effiong. Mama looked at her and gave her a body check and said to her, “you always have an excuse to give, I have told my son to do away with you but he wouldn’t listen, you are just a waste of time and energy. You just sit at home and consume food, maybe you don’t want to have a child because you don’t want your figure to change. You are just a leaking basket, anything deposited inside you just pours out”.

Tola immediately rushed to the door and opened it, she carried Mama’s bags upstairs and rushed down to the kitchen immediately, she micro waved a plate of egusi soup and made hot garri for mama. She carried it into the dinning and set the place, brought a chilled jug of water and a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice. She went to Mama who was sitting in the living room and told her that her food was ready, while mama went to the dinning, tola went to the room she shared with azunna and took off her clothes, she looked at herself in the mirror which was standing and cried so hard, she cried like if she was being killed, she used a pillow to suppress her tears else someone hears it. On her arms were punctures from different needle sizes which had left their marks on her flawless skin, she hit her belly continuously while crying. She hit it from the pain it caused her, her very flat belly stared at her in mockery. While hitting it she kept on questioning it, Why won’t you accept a child, why won’t you carry a child and make me a complete woman like my mates. Why?

She was on her way back from the fertility clinic where she had gone to try her luck again via a new experiment, she didn’t mind being a guinea pig for any experiment as long as it proved effective. She wanted a child badly, she wanted Azunna to be proud of her, he wasn’t complaining, he is her rock. He supported her in anything she wanted to do but she can’t say the same for mama who mocked her quietly and spoke against her at any opportunity she got. Mama was never in support of their marriage and she always thought she would come around after the wedding and begin to like her but that was just wishful thinking. Mama has tried her possible best to make sure that Azunna took a second wife but he won’t listen to her, her always told her that he is in love with tola and his faith won’t allow him take a second wife , moreover God was the giver of children. Tola was still engrossed in her pain that she didn’t know the time and that Azunna was already inside the room, she was still in her kneeling position with dried tears on her cheeks, they left tracks on her face. Azunna gently knelt down close to her and asked her what the matter was, she was startled and she came to. She told him that her eggs died off so the artificial insemination treatment didn’t work, she said their doctor said everything was in order but she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t conceive a child for him.

Azunna looked at her and asked her;Am I complaining ? She shook her head and her told her then don’t worry. God is the giver of children and as long as we serve him in truth, he would never deny us our own kids. Don’t listen to my mum, I am not taking a second wife and I will never forsake you. I am keeping to my vows which is sacred and I said it to the hearing of God and other witnesses. We shall wait upon the lord for his time is the best. You will be a proud mother someday.

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Marriage Chronicles…EKA

Published September 3, 2012 by mandi2ude

Eka was staring at her face in the mirror, she looked pretty enough and she sighed again and started working furiously on her face, she dappled more powder on her face, she looked and she dappled more and more till she covered her whole face with a perfect finish concealer and her Mac compact powder. She felt satisfied with her looks. She went to her wardrobe pulled out a cashmere long sleeved sweater, a pair of true religion jeans and an hermes silk scarf to match. A marc jacobs dark sun shade completed her looks. She slipped on a flat sandals, picked up her car keys and called out to her son Isaac. She didn’t want to be late, she had to drop him off at school before rushing off to her other errands.

Who ever wore sunshades in the morning by 7am and a dark one for that matter. Her friends would have a field day if they see her in what the would call fashion blunder. They wouldn’t understand that she had her reasons. She dropped isaac off and promised to be back by 2pm to pick him up. She collected her husband’s dry cleaned clothes and headed to her mother’s house, she wouldn’t want her mom to see her in these state but she didn’t have an option because her mom called her and according to her it was urgent. She drove into their family house and parked her car. She went inside and hugged her mother instantly, she held on a little bit tight. Her mother held her away and looked at her. They sat down, her mother took off her sunshade and asked her; He hit you again? Ola hit you again…. Ekaete, Ekaete.. Leave ola and come back home before he kills you. I am still alive and I will support you and isaac. Ola will kill you for me. Infact we are going home together because I am going to give him a piece of my mind, since he likes hitting women he will beat the both of us today. Eka was looking at her mom, tears were running down her face, her concealer was coming off fast and her bruises were stark against her face. Purple bruises stood out on her fair face, Her face was just a rainbow of colors, she pleaded with her mom, mama please let him be. A woman does not leave her home because she is facing difficult times. I will stand strong and protect my own. Her mom looked at her, Eka I was the one who told you that and I am telling you now to leave him alone.
Mama please if you want me to leave here now and never come back ,I will . Her mother took her hands into hers and told her to stay a while. Eka didn’t know when it struck 2pm and was heading to 2:30pm when she suddenly looked up and snatched her car keys off the table. Mama I have to go and pick isaac from school. She ran out immediately, she raced to isaac’s school and on getting there she was told that ola had already picked him up. She was filled with dread and fear of the unknown as she raced home. She beeped and drove into the compound, isaac was sitting inside watching Kids Next door on cartoon network when she asked him where daddy was and he pointed her to the room. Eka climbed upstairs and immediately she opened the door, a heavy slap greeted her face. How dare you leave my son in school till now, how dare you? Ola dragged her into the room, threw her down on the bed and took off his belt. He looked at her and asked her; why do you make me do this everytime, he was flogging her and she just kept suppressing her tears. She pleaded with him but he kept on flogging her till he got tired and he just left the room and went back to the office. Isaac immediately ran into the room and hugged her. Mummy stop crying, Mummy stop crying and she held him tight and kissed him gently on his head, mummy is not crying my baby, something just flew into mummy’s eyes. She held him tightly while the tears ran down her face like an endless river.

Ola her husband of 10yrs had been the sweetest man alive, he was attentive and treated her like a queen. She was formerly a zenith banker till they got married and he asked her to quit her job since he was making enough for the two of them and she did so but his hitting habit developed after the birth of isaac, it was like he couldn’t get enough of it. He beat her for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He threw slaps and hit her at the slightest provocation , he literally raped her whenever he wanted to have sex or slapped her into submission, they were no longer having sex because she was always sore from his beatings. she resorted to heavy concealers to hide her bruises and cuts, she lied almost everyday to people who she ran in the same social circles with but She couldn’t leave her marriage cos she had isaac to look out for, his reasons for beating her; she is yet to know.

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FIFTY SHADES OF FUCKERY

Published September 3, 2012 by mandi2ude

If you have not read the fifty shades Trilogy namely; Fifty shades Of Grey, Fifty shades Darker and Fifty shades Freed then permit me to say you are on a short thing. Fifty shades Trilogy is the best thing that has happened to me after Kama Sutra and Art of Seduction.

Christian Grey, dreamy, hot, sensual, sexual, egoistic, testosterone on legs, sex on legs is your perfect man, he is everything that your boyfriend/man/husband/bedmate is jealous of. He is the kind of boyfriend that makes you question if your next meal is a ticket to an exotic island or country. You can’t help but fall in love with the dude. He exudes sensuality, he has the right amount of everything in the right quantity.

After reading the fifty shades trilogy, I came to the conclusion that the heart wants what the heart wants. It also gave me an insight into modern day relationship, it put everything into perspective. Suffice to say; I had an epiphany while reading the trilogy. In little or no words I can confidently say that your relationship is what you make it. You choose how you will be handled, you choose how your man handles you. A man beats you constantly and you feel you did something wrong to deserve the punishment metted out to you! That’s a big lie, be more like Anastasia, she is everything that you would think Christian will not like but funny enough, she is the only human being who keeps him on a tight leash. She doesn’t wear exotic perfumes and up until the time she met christian, she has never been out of washington Dc where she lives. She is not from any high class family but she made christian fall head over heels in love with her. She had him eating out of her palms. Any thing she found wanting, she told him about it or walked out on him for it. Do not condone any bad treatment in a relationship no matter how in love you think you are. It is hard, YES!!! But it’s for the best.

RELEASE THE INNER GODDESS IN YOU AND LET THE VIXEN IN YOU HAVE A BALL

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